How I love my girl Dit dit dit, Heroes And Villains *piano slams shut* DAVID: Where'd he go? He's disappeared right into the piano MICHAEL: Hey, Brian? Brian, where are ya? *knocks on piano* BRIAN: I'm in the piano M: Come out of there man! B: I can't, I'm stuck between the C and the C# M: Let's see, how are we gonna get him out... D: Let's see if we can play him out. M: You're not by this note are you? *hits G* B: No M: Not there? *hits D* B: N - ah-ah - no. Very close though M: *hits C#* There? B: Ooh-ooh! No M: *hits C* B: YOWW!! Ohh! M: Ah, there he is. Now listen, I'll hit it with the mallet and you grab the mallet as it goes up, and it'll lift you out of there. B: Alright, hit it. M: *hits C* B: OW! There, I'm on! Now wait a minute, strike the B-flat. M: The B-flat? B: Yeah, my left foot's on it M: *hits B-flat* B: Ow, there I am! Ok I'm on top of C#. Now hit the C# real hard and I'll come flying out M: *hits C#*

I've been in this town so long That back in the city I've been taken for a lost and gone And unknown for a long, long time Fell in love years ago With an innocent girl From the Spanish and Indian home Of the heroes and villains Once at night Cotillion squared the fight And she was running the rain Of the bullets that eventually brought her down But she's still dancing In the night unafraid Of what a dude'll do In a town full of heroes and villains Heroes and villains Stand or fall, I know there Shall be peace in the valley And it's all an affair Of my life with the heroes and villains In the cantina Margaritas keep the spirits high There I watched her She spun around And wound in the warmth Her body fanned the flame of the dance Dance, Margarita Don't you know that I love you? Dance... You're under arrest! Heroes and Villains Just see what you've done BRIAN: Oh no! I fell in the microphone DAVID: Ok, we gotta get a new microphone. This one is giving feedback... B: No! It's me! Brian! I'm in the microphone, it's not a buzz! D: Hold on a second, I'm gonna unscrew this microphone *unscrews mic* B: Oh, don't touch it, please! I'll get a shortcut and I'll get electrocuted VAN DYKE: *destroys mic* B: AAGGGHH!!!! D: Oh, that's much better. Oh, it's so quiet now! Oh, that's nice MICHAEL: Yeah. Oh, good, Van Dyke! D: I think there was a short in the Brian or something. M: A short in the Brian? Gosh, we'll have to get a new Brian, then. D: Right, right. M: Listen, would you order one?

Waving from the ocean liner Beaded cheering Indians behind them Rock, rock, roll Plymouth rock, roll over Ribbon of concrete Just see what you've done Done to the church of the American Indian Once upon the Sandwich Isles Social structure steamed upon Hawaii Rock, rock, roll Plymouth rock, roll over Bicycle Rider Just see what you've done Done to the church of the American Indian Mahala lu lei Mahala lu la Keeni waka pu la Rock, rock, roll Plymouth rock, roll over

Out in the barnyard, the chickens do their number Out in the farmyard, the cook is chopping lumber Jump in the pigpen, next time I'll leave my shoes off Hit the dirt, do two-and-a-half, Next time I'll leave my hat on Fresh, clean air around my head Mornings, tumble out of bed Eggs and grits and lickety-split Look at me jump, I'm in the great shape Of the outer country I wanna be around To pick up the pieces When somebody breaks your heart (your heart) Yes, when somebody breaks your heart (your heart) In two You're with me tonight, I know you're with me tonight, for sure

With me tonight, I know you're with me tonight You're with me tonight, I know you're with me tonight For sure you're with me tonight, I'm sure you're with me tonight You're with me tonight, I know you're with me tonight I'm gonna be round my vegetables I'm gonna chow down my vegetables I love you most of all, my favorite vegetable (Run all around, dig a hole in the ground) If you brought a big, brown bag of them home I'd jump up and down and hope you'd toss me a carrot I'm gonna keep well, my vegetables Cart off and sell my vegetables I love you most of all, my favorite vegetable (Pop all those buttons right off of my shirt) I tried to kick the ball, but my tennie flew right off I'm red as a beet cos I'm so embarrassed Mom and daddy said Sleep a lot, eat a lot Brush em like crazy Run a lot, do a lot Never be lazy, boy Tripped on a cornucopia Stripped the stalk green, and I hope ya Like me the most of all My favorite vega-table I threw away my candy bar and I ate the wrapper And when they told me what I done, I burst into laughter Mom and daddy said Sleep a lot, eat a lot Brush em like crazy Run a lot, do a lot Never be lazy, boy I know that you'll feel better when You send us in your letter and Tell us the name of your Your favorite vega-table BRIAN: Is it alright if I take a couple of these carrots? HAL: I said no, I don't want you to have them! B: Lemme just put it in my glove compartment H: Look, I spent a lot of time on the weekends growing those vegetables B: I haven't had anything to eat for weeks! H: Listen, meathead, I don't know who you think you are, but I'm giving you fair warning. You're gonna get a tomato right in your face! B: I don't care, throw it! H: Don't get smart kid! Would you just move on? B: Why can't I have a little bit of vegetable? H: Move on! Get a job somewhere, buy some vegetables B: Lemme have a radish. H: Get your hands off of those radishes! Those are my vegetables! How'd you like to get pushed over that hill? B: *laughs* H: Don't get smart with me and laugh, smart-aleck punk!

He gives speeches, but they put him Back in bed, where he wrote his satire He gives speeches, always reaches Out a lot - led him to discover Silken hair, more silken hair Fell on his face, and no wind was blowing Stepped across the golden fields And saw that she was soon trailing after She was nice and didn't fight He fell into her friendly persuasion Late that night while by a street light Little hands shadowed on the ceiling My children were raised You know, they suddenly rised They started slow, long ago, head to toe, Healthy wealthy and often wise At threescore and five I'm very much alive I still got the jive to survive With the heroes and villains I'm fit with the stuff To ride in the rough And sunny down snuff, I'm alright By the heroes and villains That Old Master Painter from the faraway hills Painted the violets and the daffodils He put the purple in the twilight haze And then a rainbow for the rainy days You were my sunshine My only sunshine You made me happy When skies were grey You'll never know, dear How much I loved you How could you take my sunshine away? Ah ha ha, dum-be-dooby-doo Ah ha ha (Sunshine, my only sunshine) (Sunshine, when skies were blue) (Sunshine, how much I loved you)

Light the lamp and fire mellow Cabin essence, timely hello Welcomes the time for a change Lost and found, you still remain there You'll find a meadow filled with grain there I'll give you a home on the range Who ran the iron horse? I want to watch you windblown facing Waves of wheat for your embracing Folks sing a song of the grange Nestle in a kiss below there The constellations ebb and flow there And witness our home on the range Who ran the iron horse? (Truck driving man, do what you can Hightail your load off the road Out of night life, I'm the gas man I don't believe I gotta grieve I'm out of luck, with a buck and a booth Searching on to the truth In the vast past, the last gasp Land in the dust, trust what you must Catch as catch can) Have you seen the Grand Coulee Working on the railroad? Over and over, the crow cries uncover the cornfield Over and over, the thresher and hover the wheatfield

You're well, you're well, you're welcome You're well, you're welcome to come Well, you're welcome to come Hanging down from my window, those are my wind chimes On the warm breeze, the little bells tinkle like wind chimes Though it's hard, I try not to look at my wind chimes Now and then, a tear rolls off my cheek Close your eyes and lean back now, listen to wind chimes In the late afternoon you're hung up on wind chimes Though it's hard, I try not to look at my wind chimes BRIAN: In order to function - let's say, in order to live, and be happy, and to be able to think clearly - you've got to have, first of all, the elements. You've got to have good air to breathe. Air pollution is something that has become increasingly more of a threat to all of us over the last ten years. Especially in the last five years since the growing industry demands, the growing automobiles, the population. It doesn't matter if you're sick, well, or not - smog is a hazard to all of us! This poison that we breathe has such an effect on our overall body and mind, that it's hard to say, medically, exactly what happens. We do know this - that smog, in sufficient doses, can kill a person! I saw a couple of my friends almost die from not being able to breathe. When I opened up my bathroom window today, I almost choked to death! I've been so dragged by it, and so depressed, that I actually slug walls and throw things around the house. I can't help it, smog drives me to do these things! The way we can help is to make a record, and present the facts to set up in their minds a goal to get rid of this sh!! Whispering winds send my wind chimes a-tinglin' (aaah, well oh well oh well) (tinglin, tinglin, tinglin) (do do do)

A pirate plays a tune on a holiday Old lazy Mister Moon won a getaway And isn't that a moon for a milky way? A ukulele lady, a roundalay Rock, rock, roll (Child!) Rock, rock, roll Plymouth rock Roll over, for a holiday With a roundalay Abaft and forth, a starboard course With north abeam - sherry of course! The men will share some sport a-now, me hearty Not the rum of Carib scum It's port tonight - drink up and come! Unweigh that anchor yank, and we will party A shanty town, a chanty in Waikiki And juxtapose a man with a mystery A Blue Hawaiian capture his melody And Lilioukalani will sing to me Rock, rock, roll (Child!) Rock, rock, roll Plymouth rock Roll over, for a holiday JULES: So, there we are on the life raft, and the problem is this - is that one person has to go overboard. The way the person goes overboard is we vote him overboard. Oh, and after that person goes overboard, then... DAVID: I vote that Jules goes overboard... DIANE: I would have to jump overboard if that were the game we were playing... J: No, you wouldn't... MICHAEL: Can you vote for yourself? J: Of course you can vote for yourself, who else are you gonna vote for, man? Hahaha VAN DYKE: Can you drink the rest of the fresh water before you jump? J: No. DI: No, but you can take it with you. Hahaha M: ...goggles J: David has nominated me to be thrown overboard first... M: I vote yes (Water, water, water, water) (Down on the ocean, down on the ocean floor) (Darkness, darkness) (Underwater) (Fish sea, swim swim) (Currrrrrent, current current current) (Tiiiiidal wave) (Shark! Shark! Shark!) (Jellyfish...) (Dolphin, dolphin, dolphin) (Goldfish, goldfish) (Eeeeeeel, eel eel)

Rub-a-dub Fell out of the tub He's stumblin' Out comes the son New life begun He's wonderin' [JULES: What are they, what are they doing? MICHAEL: Alright, smile. Smile, Jules. Smile. C'mon, doesn't everybody wanna smile? Laugh? Why don't you wanna laugh, Jules? J: What's happening, what are they doing?] Hey baby Lying dandled on my knee Baby, baby (Child you're such a wonder to me) My baby You kid me [M: Where's the smile, where's your smile? BRIAN: Hey, I'm too down to smile! M: Would you smile? B: Would you split?] Hey, pretty baby, won't you rock in the cradle tonight? (Don't let the bough break, now) (My one, wonderful baby) It's time I taught you now The holy word to make your father proud [M: He's getting happy, I can see it. His eyes are twinkling. There's a twitch in the corner of his mouth. His nose is circulating... DIANE: I think he's wet his pants *laughter*] I want you to say "dada" C'mon and smile and call me "dada" Hush little baby, don't you cry Child, child, child The child, the child Father of the man (father of the man) Easy, my child It's just enough to believe Out of the wild Into what you can conceive You'll achieve Child, child, child The child, the child Father of the man (father of the man) Maybe not one (one, one, wonderful) Maybe you too Wonderin' Wonderin' who (one, one, wonderful) Wonderful you Wonderin' Child, child, child The child, the child Father of the son Where is the father, son? Where is the father, child? Where is the wonderful me, wonderful you? Though I know I'm wont to wondering Nevermind wonderful you I can't stop a-wondering Never you mind, wonderful you Child, child, child The child, the child Father of the son Child, child, child The child, the child Father of the son

I love the colorful clothes she wears And the way the sunlight plays upon her hair I hear the sound of a gentle word On the wind that lifts her perfume through the air I'm pickin' up good vibrations She's givin' me excitations Close my eyes, she's somehow closer now Softly smile, I know she loves me kind When I look in her eyes She goes with me to her blossom world I'm pickin' up good vibrations She's givin' me excitations I don't know where but she sends me there What a sensation Oh my my, what elation Gotta keep those lovin' good vibrations a-happenin' with her I'm pickin' up good vibrations She's givin' me excitations *ice cream truck plays Good Vibrations* MICHAEL: Hey, what's making that thing play, man? DAVID: I don't know M: Maybe it's the ice cream man! I think it's probably the ice cream man D: I want a Fudgesicle! M: What do you want, Van Dyke? *ice cream truck resumes, drives away* VAN DYKE: Um, I want to have a... M: Hey, wait, he's getting too far! Stop it, hey mister, wait! We want some ice cream!

She belongs there left with her liberty Never known as a non-believer She laughs and stays in her one, one, one wonderful She knew how to gather the forest when God reached softly and moved her body One golden locket Quite young, and loving her mother and father Farther down the path was a mystery Through the recess, the chalk and numbers A boy bumped into her one, one, one wonderful (Wee-oo pretty baby, won't you rock with me Henry) All fall down and lost in the mystery Lost it all to a non-believer And all that's left is a girl Who's loved by her mother and father She'll return in love with her liberty Just away from her non-believer She'll smile and thank God for one, one, one wonderful (Ah-mm pretty baby, won't you rock with me Henry)

GEORGE: I’m stuck in my French horn! HORN 1: George fell into his French horn! HORN 2: He did? Hahahaha OTHER HORNS: George fell into his French horn! Alright, George, give me a note! HORN 2: Wow. You, you mean, you mean to lie there and tell me that George fell into his French horn? HORN 1: He sure did! HORN 2: Oh boy. A diamond necklace plays the pawn Hand in hand, some drummed along To a handsome mannered baton (Bygone, bygone) A blind class aristocracy Back through the opera glass, you see The pit and the pendulum drawn (Bygone, bygone) Columnated ruins domino Hung velvet overtaken me Dim chandelier awaken me To a song dissolved in the dawn (Bygone, bygone) The music hall, a costly bow The music, all is lost for now To a muted trumpeter's swan (Bygone, bygone) Columnated ruins domino Canvass the town and brush the backdrop Are you sleeping Brother John? Dove-nested towers, the hour Was strike the street, quicksilver moon Carriage across the fog Two-step to lamp-light cellar tune The laughs come hard in Auld Lang Syne The glass was raised, the fired roast The fullness of the wine, the dim last toasting While at port, adieu or die A choke of grief, heart-hardened eye Beyond belief, a broken man too tough to cry Surf's up aboard a tidal wave Come about hard, and join the young and often spring you gave I heard the word Wonderful thing A children's song (Child is father of the man) A children's song Have you listened as they play? Their song is love And the children know the way

How I love my girl Dit dit dit, Heroes And Villains *piano slams shut* DAVID: Where'd he go? He's disappeared right into the piano MICHAEL: Hey, Brian? Brian, where are ya? *knocks on piano* BRIAN: I'm in the piano M: Come out of there man! B: I can't, I'm stuck between the C and the C# M: Let's see, how are we gonna get him out... D: Let's see if we can play him out. M: You're not by this note are you? *hits G* B: No M: Not there? *hits D* B: N - ah-ah - no. Very close though M: *hits C#* There? B: Ooh-ooh! No M: *hits C* B: YOWW!! Ohh! M: Ah, there he is. Now listen, I'll hit it with the mallet and you grab the mallet as it goes up, and it'll lift you out of there. B: Alright, hit it. M: *hits C* B: OW! There, I'm on! Now wait a minute, strike the B-flat. M: The B-flat? B: Yeah, my left foot's on it M: *hits B-flat* B: Ow, there I am! Ok I'm on top of C#. Now hit the C# real hard and I'll come flying out M: *hits C#* I've been in this town so long That back in the city I've been taken for a lost and gone And unknown for a long, long time Fell in love years ago With an innocent girl From the Spanish and Indian home Of the heroes and villains Once at night Cotillion squared the fight And she was running the rain Of the bullets that eventually brought her down But she's still dancing In the night unafraid Of what a dude'll do In a town full of heroes and villains Heroes and villains Stand or fall, I know there Shall be peace in the valley And it's all an affair Of my life with the heroes and villains In the cantina Margaritas keep the spirits high There I watched her She spun around And wound in the warmth Her body fanned the flame of the dance Dance, Margarita Don't you know that I love you? Dance... You're under arrest! My children were raised You know they suddenly rised They started slow, long ago Head to toe, healthy wealthy and Often wise At threescore and five I'm very much alive I still got the jive To survive with the heroes and - BRIAN: Oh no! I fell in the microphone DAVID: Ok, we gotta get a new microphone. This one is giving feedback... B: No! It's me! Brian! I'm in the microphone, it's not a buzz! D: Hold on a second, I'm gonna unscrew this microphone *unscrews mic* B: Oh, don't touch it, please! I'll get a shortcut and I'll get electrocuted VAN DYKE: *destroys mic* B: AAGGGHH!!!! D: Oh, that's much better. Oh, it's so quiet now! Oh, that's nice MICHAEL: Yeah. Oh, good, Van Dyke! D: I think there was a short in the Brian or something. M: A short in the Brian? Gosh, we'll have to get a new Brian, then. D: Right, right. M: Listen, would you order one?

Waving from the ocean liner Beaded cheering Indians behind them Rock, rock, roll Plymouth rock, roll over Ribbon of concrete Just see what you've done Done to the church of the American Indian Once upon the Sandwich Isles Social structure steamed upon Hawaii Rock, rock, roll Plymouth rock, roll over Bicycle Rider Just see what you've done Done to the church of the American Indian Mahala lu lei Mahala lu la Keeni waka pu la Rock, rock, roll Plymouth rock, roll over

Fresh, clean air around my head Mornings, tumble out of bed Eggs and grits and lickety-split Look at me jump, I'm in the great shape Of the outer country He gives speeches, but they put him Back in bed, where he wrote his satire He gives speeches, always reaches Out a lot - led him to discover Silken hair, more silken hair Fell on his face, and no wind was blowing Stepped across the golden fields And saw that she was soon trailing after She was nice and didn't fight He fell into her friendly persuasion Late that night while by a street light Little hands shadowed on the ceiling I wanna be around To pick up the pieces When somebody breaks your heart (your heart) Yes, when somebody breaks your heart (your heart) In two (in two)

(Let's cue the animals!) Out in the barnyard, the chickens do their number Out in the farmyard, the cook is chopping lumber Jump in the pigpen, next time I'll leave my shoes off Hit the dirt, do two-and-a-half, Next time I'll leave my hat on That Old Master Painter from the faraway hills Painted the violets and the daffodils He put the purple in the twilight haze And then a rainbow for the rainy days You were my sunshine My only sunshine You made me happy When skies were grey You'll never know, dear How much I loved you How could you take my sunshine away? Ah ha ha, dum-be-dooby-doo Ah ha ha (Sunshine, my only sunshine) (Sunshine, when skies were blue) (Sunshine, how much I loved you)

Truck drivin' man, do what you can Hightail your load off the road Out of night life, I'm the gas man I don't believe I gotta grieve I'm outta luck, with a buck and a booth Catchin' on to the truth In the vast past, the last gasp Bite of the dust, trust what you must Catch as catch can

Is it hot as hell in here, or is it me? It really is a mystery If I die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take my misery I could really use a drop to drink Somewhere in a placid pool and sink Feel like I was really in the pink I lose a dream when I don't sleep I'm slumberin There's still a promise we must keep I'm wonderin (Wa wa ha wa) Hawaii Hawaii, lay beyond the sea Hawaii Hawaii is Vegas to me Hawaii Oh, I could use a drop to drink right now In a waterfall, back there in Hawaii Take me to a luau now and lay before me wholly holy cow Down in Blue Hawaii So far away from Blue Hawaii Aloha nui means goodbye